A small yap about current events -> Expanded from a post made on Threads.
So… Valentine’s Day right?
HI! Hello, at this point of typing this, Valentine’s Day was a few days ago and like every year, there’s the fallout discourse. Apparently, there are a significant number of women, who were single of the day of love, that are currently seeking out femininity coaches to help them get snatched up by an alpha, high vibrational man by Valentine’s next year.
I say apparently here, because I have personally seen zero of these posts. Cannot confirm nor deny that they exist. It could be my algorithm, it could be the people I follow, but that series of posts have not hit any of my social media timelines. BUT, I have seen quite a number of people criticizing the women making those posts. And that’s what I’ll be focusing on in this post, because I think we’re having the wrong conversation here.
Let’s discuss a bit…
One of the posts I seen brought up the 4b Movement and how many women quickly gave it up and “folded”. I… have thoughts and I’ll share them here. |This is where I’ll add in the words directly from my threads posts. Read it here: https://www.threads.net/@sundaifm/post/DGI0CnGRZ-S?xmt=AQGz0spWN6xuPOp9–c1fLX60smin-eeEKlUkGYZ5RjZWw |
The 4b Movement
I want to talk a little bit about the 4b movement for a sec. This movement is NOT ours -referring to women in the U.S. specifically here- to co-opt nor take over. It was created by South Korean women due to the disgusting atrocities being done to them by the men in our society.
This was them reaching their breaking point and their rebellion against the society that’s actively harming them. Not to say we don’t have our problems nor that there’s no harm being done to us here in the states. BUT, the reason this movement really took off here wasn’t due to us wanting to support these women, but due to the results of the election last year and the release of the voting statistics.
Not to say that this is a “weak” reason, but it just doesn’t align with the original purpose and in many ways, from those wanting to join in from the western side of the globe, felt disingenuous. Instead, I believe that it would’ve better to stand in solidarity with these women in South Korea, while forming our own movement that could be similar to 4b, but better centered our own issues. It could be beneficial to look at the 4b Movement as a guide and take notes, but it would be better for us to have created our own movement to work for/towards.
I don’t think people in the states “dropped” or “let go” of the 4b movement, I don’t think we ever properly joined, aligned or committed to it. But once again, it wasn’t ours to do that anyway. A movement can’t fail, if there wasn’t one in the first place. The 4b movement in SK seems to be holding strong over there, as far as I’ve seen. To create a movement, WE need to put in the work to make it happen ourselves. If there’s no organization nor communication, of course it’ll fail!
How many of the people around you, specifically women, who are not online a substantial amount, even knew about the 4b movement to begin with? How would you pitch and inform them of the cause to make them aware of how important it is and encourage them to join?
Just from the way many of you interact online with others, you wouldn’t be able to think about these things nor actually do them. So many of us are mean, unsociable and nasty and that won’t convince many to join anything.
This is all to say that, I feel like there’s a lot of “outrage” or strong opinions about women failing to join a movement that was never ours and that many didn’t even know enough about to contribute to or participate in.
Now…
Femininity Coaches
We have way to much anger and vitriol for the women going to these… scammers, instead of the scamm- Femininity Coaches themselves and that’s not productive.We live in a society that tells us that we need a man, that we need a relationship and that we need to have babies.
From birth almost, girls are taught this way and it’s near hardwired into our brains until we begin to unlearn it. And even then, we still fall into the trap just by living our lives. It’s freaking hard.
So no, I don’t have spite or anger towards women that are feeling lonely and unwanted, towards women that feel the need to be in a relationship 24/7 because for majority of us, that what we’ve been told our worth is at. Instead, I feel it’s more productive to actually support and love each other.
We have to be kinder and show each other that we’re worth more, deserve more. It’s not wrong to be in love or want to be in love, it’s wrong to be treated like garbage and taken advantage of.
We should be uplifting each other and teaching that we are so much more than something to be wanted, an object to adored. These women are going to these coaches because they’re insecure, lonely and vulnerable. Do we honestly believe that being mean to them and calling them out on said insecurities will cause them to change?? It’s only causing more harm and pushing them to the coaches more.
Everyone wants to be wanted, we just need to foster healthier habits and mindsets. Rudeness gets us nowhere.
But at the end of the day I want better for us because I think we deserve better. I just think we just need to be a lot kinder to each other and more proactive and intentional in our actions.
Closing Thoughts
This was the general brainrot I was experiencing today that I wanted to get out. This is no dissertation nor was this heavily researched. Just some thoughts and opinions that I felt the need to share, thinking my perspective would be beneficial in some way. Thanks for uh taking the time to read this, until next time!
Sundai Paper 
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